What the scale WON’T tell you but my smile will

Yesterday, I finally returned to my favorite Sunday Warrior’s Weight Watchers meeting for the first time since my FIRST half-marathon and my SECOND half-marathon with a trip to Disney in between. SHOCKING. I thought to myself, “I’ve been so determined, what the hell happened!?” Well I realized that life happens and that it’s okay. The scale slips away from everyone but most importantly what I’ve learned from this whole process is that you have to OWN whatever happens and most importantly, keep kicking ass and taking names! I will say with confidence that I am actually HAPPY I gained 1.6 pounds. Yes, call me crazy but I was expecting at least a 6 pound gain from Disney (that damn Mickey ice cream!) and losing track over the past few weeks. Regardless, it’s definitely a weight off of my shoulders (I’m so punny) since I anticipated the absolute worst but was pleasantly surprised. I tend to do this a lot, as you will realize later…..

Enough about a number though. Really, what is ONE number (okay, more like three numbers strung together sometimes 4 because you can weigh like 135.2) going to tell you? Yesterday my leader (whom I adore and is super inspirational and motivational and just ALL OF THE GOOD FEELS) said something that really stuck, “Do not let 10 seconds on the scale determine your week.” This statement really got me thinking that everyone in that room is so much more than a number and we should not let the scale dictate or measure our happiness. You’re really going to let ONE number tell you that you ran 66 miles this month?! YOU BETTER NOT. I believe that anyone who is on a weightloss journey should not let one measly number define them. I mean for goodness sakes if I let a number control and define me, I’d have quit the first time I gained. Not to mention, I’ve run TWO HALF-MARATHONS since the last time I sat with my Sunday Warriors. The scale won’t tell ANYONE that.

The scale won’t tell you how my body was yelling at me during Saturday’s half because it was 88 degrees outside and I was so dehydrated. (Never doing that again!) I don’t think you understand unless you have actually ran in a 5k or half marathon or marathon that your brain starts to think some pretty crazy stuff. I wanted people sitting outside their houses to just turn their hoses on and cool everyone off. I envisioned the children standing on the road running inside and getting me a damn freezie pop. That’s when you know you’ve lost it, like when this one woman handing out water told me she could see the finish line at the 11 mile mark and I thought to myself, “NO YOU CAN’T. DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO ME.” In all reality I know she was trying to be encouraging but don’t tell me you can actually SEE the finish when it’s INSIDE the stadium and TWO miles away. I’m dying here, THANKS. After I saw someone on the side of the road with an ambulance I thought to myself, “Chelsea it’s hot, you need to slow down, who cares what your time is you are just aiming to finish standing up at this point.” So that was my mentality for the rest of the race. I figured my time was going to be a lot slower compare to my first race due to the hills and heat. So here I go with the whole anticipating the worst thing…..I mean not that I’m obsessing over numbers or anything but my first half marathon was on May 25th which I ran in 2:31:11 and Saturday’s 50 yard finish was 2:28:52. The scale won’t tell me that I actually beat my time!  The scale won’t measure the happiness that I felt when I found out that I beat this time earlier today. The scale also won’t tell you about the real smile in this transformation picture but I will.


That smile comes from over a year of hard work, persistence, determination, dedication and defeat. I feel it’s important to discuss the defeat I have experienced as this journey is far from perfect. That smile also comes from the fact that in February 2013 I could barely run 13:20/mile and just last week in Delaware Park I ran one mile in 8:40. TONIGHT I RAN ONE MILE IN 8:35!!! That smile comes from an endless list of accomplishing things that I never thought were possible. That smile comes from the fact that I was once wearing size 18 pants and now I fit into a size 8. That smile comes from the fact that I no longer wear XXL shirts. That smile comes from the fact that I can be comfortable in shorts and a tank top. That smile comes from the fact that even when your body wants to quit, when every muscle is aching, your head is pounding, sweat is in your eyes, you want to faint, puke and collapse all at once, YOU DO NOT GIVE IN. That smile tells you that others will support and encourage you but at the end of the day this is your OWN journey and you have to rely on yourself and do what makes you happy and successful. I find myself thinking about another quote from Silver Linings Playbook….

The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed. I can’t begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what? Sunday’s my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.

I can totally relate to this quote. I used to run everyday in high school. I had a specific 4 mile loop around the village of OP. Throughout the years I lost sight of that but now running is my favorite again. Sure, a lot of stuff happens in between but you must remain grounded. You must have a constant. I’ve learned through experience that there are going to be setbacks along the way, the scale may lean one way, you didn’t run your best race, you experience a heartbreak, or you’re stressing out about school/work. Whatever the situation is, at the end of the day, if you want it bad enough, you will do what it takes to figure it out. You have to push all the bull**** aside and remember what you truly want. Nobody is going to go out there and get it for you and sometimes you need to be selfish in what you are after. Finally, the scale will not tell you that I am a fighter or that I refuse to give up on myself, only my smile can do that. Do not let the scale run your life. YOU run your life. Thanks for listening! Stay tuned for more =)


P.S. I got some new kicks tonight and I’m even MORE pumped about running. I’m not sure where Brooks have been my entire life but I’m glad I found them =)



Changing my mindset

I’ve been meaning to blog for a few weeks now so waking up to this lovely (sarcasm much?) Instagram comment seemed like the perfect opportunity to share my thoughts! This person (who will remain nameless) recently expressed their thoughts on this transformation picture,

transformation picture

“OMG PUKE’nnnnnnnnnn so gross @luvtobfit”

First, let me begin by saying that I understand there are several consequences that come with sharing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING via the interwebs. I GET THAT. I know that we do not live in a perfect world. I realize that people aren’t ALWAYS going to be nice. What I do not understand is why certain people were not properly educated about the phrase,

“If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”

What is so hard about that?! When I first read the comment, my heart was racing and tears began to fill my eyes. I told myself to stop as this stranger/internet troll was definitely not worth my tears. What is so wrong with you that you think you can tell me that I’m gross when there is a clear visual of how I’ve worked my ass off changing myself for the better. (Yes, using ass is necessary.) Then I started thinking of all of these choice words that I really wanted to nastily type to this wonderful individual.  However, I soon came to the realization that that is exactly what this individual was after. They wanted a reaction. They wanted to set me off. People are nasty in order to get a rise out of others. People say mean things because they have their own personal issues that they just don’t have figured out yet. People want to feel better about themselves so they put others down. I learned all of these things way back in kindergarten.

So once I rationalized this comment I began to shift my thinking into something more positive because my fat self would have dove right into a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s at 7am. (No, but really, I would have.) As a thinner self, I was positive that I didn’t want HIM to be the reason to set the tone for the day. I refused to let this individual define how much time and energy I have spent attaining this healthier lifestyle. I am stronger than that. I know deep down within myself that I have spent over a year (15 months) bettering the obese individual on the left to a healthier, confident and glowing Chelsea on the right. That is why I believe that there is absolutely not one single thing in this world that is going to take that away from me. I will not REFUSE to let that happen.

dress transformation

I believe that in today’s society we focus wayyyyy too much on the negative things that happen to us that we forget to highlight and truly appreciate the positives. I mean I can think about all of the negative things that happened to me on my way to work today. I burned my bagel thin, the 190 was at a stand still for NO REASON, it was raining, someone cut me off and my iced coffee was just blah. However, in the grand scheme of things, thinking and spending energy on these thoughts is useless.  None of those things matter. I didn’t really need the bagel as I had plenty of snacks packed for work, traffic happens, we need the rain and the person who cut me off didn’t cause an accident. Sure, it was one internet troll who wanted to have his voice heard about how gross I appear to him but now I intend to focus on the positive.  There is always a positive. I know that the growth in confidence that I feel within myself in addition to people telling me that I am an inspiration to them is a feeling that can’t be replaced. So I guess I need to stop venting and instead thank the internet troll for making me realize that I am so much more than his nasty comment. (I mean let’s be real, the first thing I will probably tell him is that “PUKE’nnnnnnnnnn” is not a real word) Most importantly, I don’t need his comment to define me. Me, myself and I are solely responsible for the direction I take on this journey.  I’m feeling better than I EVER have and that in itself is rewarding enough.

 “Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shadow.”


One year FITversary!

I’ve been meaning to write this post since Thursday as I reflect on my ONE YEAR FITVERSARY. (Yes, this post is long, no I am NOT sorry.) When was the last time you spent an entire year making yourself better? Focusing on what you wanted the most? Sure, it’s selfish and it’s a crazy thought but on February 6th 2013, I never thought I WOULD be where I am right now. Actually, never in one million years!

I never thought that I could lose 46.8 pounds IN MY LIFE, not to mention ONE YEAR.

I never thought that my Instagram account “luvtobfit” would have 1,175 followers.

Of those followers, I never thought that I could receive so many touching comments informing me that my success was inspiring others to accomplish their goals.

I also never thought my page would be shared on another fitness page and receive 447 likes on one transformation picture.

I never thought that I would be seriously contemplating signing up for a half-marathon.

I also never thought that I would be looking into the different certifications in order to become a personal trainer. Wait, you mean I actually like the gym?! WEIRD.

I also never thought that I could be THIS genuinely happy.

When you see yourself going places that you never thought possible, you just sit back in awe at everything you have accomplished and just cry tears of joy. You literally think to yourself, “Is this really me? Am I really doing this?! (Okay, so I admit it, making that transformation picture down below, I cried.) It’s amazing how much you can achieve when you finally believe in yourself and you can actually physically see all of your hard work paying off. It’s safe to say that this past year has shown me that I’m a lot more capable than I ever anticipated.

I recently watched Silver Linings Playbook and this quote makes perfect sense:


Most recently, I proved to MYSELF that you have to literally “do everything you can” in order to reach the impossible. Why meet yourself only halfway? Every Sunday morning I would drive to my Weight Watchers meeting and say to myself, “Now, are you going to lose or gain?” “Did you REALLY do everything you possibly could to make that number go down this week?” Almost every single time I had a feeling of doubt. Sure, I worked out 5 times that week, but did I track ALL of my food? Did I drink enough water? Did I limit my portions? NOPE. Sure, I partially did each of those things, but it was never 110% and I knew that I was only cheating myself.

I was rocking this weightloss thing with Weight Watchers since February 6, 2013 and in November 2013 I got stuck in the 170s that is, until this week. I was so tired of playing this yo-yo game with the scale since November 3rd. (Later, I realized it was a mental game) I hit my 40 pounds and then I hit a wall. One week I lost .6, the next, gain .4, then lose .2, then stay the same, then gain .6, then lose .2. There were no more multiple pound loses at the scale. I never gave up. I knew I had to stop playing the game. Sure, some refer to Weight Watchers as a game because there are points involved, but you have to keep track. I knew I had to make it an all or nothing thing. I was tired of letting not only myself down, but my Sunday Warriors Weight Watchers group and all of my followers on Facebook and Instagram. I was slowly losing my enthusiasm and I knew that those who followed me were losing their belief in me.

This morning, February 9th, 2014, I stepped on the scale at 167.4 and LOST 6.2 POUNDS IN ONE WEEK! I wanted to cry tears of joy at the scale because this week, for the first time since November, I finally did everything I could to stay positive. I did everything I possibly could to make sure that number on the scale was less than the number the previous week.


I had to dig real deep to get here and I also had to realize that it’s not going to be 6 pounds every week. But damn after being so back and forth since November, I felt like a baby bird who could finally fly! (Too corny? Probably.) I had to say no to cupcakes, dinner invitations, coffee outings, chips, cookies, you name it, I said no because I promised myself YES on February 6th, 2013. Now, I realize you can have anything you want in moderation, I mean moderation is my favorite word. However, I needed to focus and moderation was getting a little out of hand for this one over here. So this week I said to myself, “Enough is enough, you can do this. You spend $42.95/month on Weight Watchers, for YOU. Why are you putting all of this bad food in your system (spending more money on said bad food) and chancing your own body with the potential to be successful and happy?” This gambling has got to stop!

Once you realize that every time you reach for a “treat” or “I worked out and I deserve it” you only set yourself back.  It’s so very hard, I know it’s hard but being miserable and overweight is HARDER. I would get Tim Horton’s Iced Coffee and a Breakfast Sandwich EVERY MORNING. I’m talking Iced Coffee with chocolate syrup double cream, double sugar. WHO WAS I!? Now, sure, if you tracked said Iced Coffee and Breakfast Sandwich it would be doable. (Which now I do because I get two milk instead of two cream and one sugar. The egg white and cheese on an english muffin is 5 points!) I told myself, “This is getting out of control, why are you doing this? STOP IT. STOP PLAYING THE GAME.” I could list all of the horrible things I ate two weeks ago because I had a not so good number at the scale but I can’t focus on the past, I can only focus on the good things I’ve accomplished this week. I fueled my body with the healthy and filling portions it needs while tracking and IT FELT AMAZING to read 167.4. I honestly do not know the last time I was in the 160s, sophomore year of college? Maybe? I can’t wait to say that for all of the wonderful numbers ahead 🙂

What I learned from my plateau:

1. Find a workout buddy. I’ve had a great friend from high school join Weight Watchers and now we go to the gym together every Sunday morning after our meeting. I look forward to our Sunday routine every week. Then throughout the week we may send a picture of what we’re eating or tell each other the point values of our food. Total nerd status but having a partner makes you realize you’re not alone and they have this ability to push you without even realizing it. Oh right, that’s called accountability!

2. Don’t get too comfortable. The minute your workout bores you, you need to change it up! Muscle confusion is my new best friend and after almost 2 hours at the gym 5 days/wk, I’m sore as ever 🙂

3. Play with your food! Pack different snacks that will excite you and look forward to trying them! EAT OFTEN. Yes, you feel as if you are eating all day but your body needs the fuel. I eat breakfast before work, have a snack before lunch, lunch, one/two snacks in the afternoon, dinner and a snack after dinner. Listen to your body. Don’t deprive.

3. Admit from your mistakes, but move forward. Don’t look back and realize that failure is part of the process, accept it and keep going. I promise you that the success that follows is well worth the wait.

I figured I would share my insane organization, as I don’t want to have an excuse to not know how many points something is or not have enough snacks! Now, don’t worry, I have yogurt, cheese sticks, fruit, applesauce, and other items in the fridge! From the left: Oreo Thin Crisps (3 points) Special K Pastry Crisps Cookies and Cream (2 points) Weight Watchers Marshmallow Brownie Crunch (2 points) Special K Protein Bar (5 points) Weight Watchers Brownie Bliss Peanut Butter (2 points) Fiber One Gummies (2 points) Keebler 100 Calorie Pack Fudge Stripe Cookies (3 points) Can you tell I like chocolate and peanut butter? 🙂

 Cabinet 2.9.14

This week I’ve also been reminded that we shouldn’t focus so much on the finish but realize the importance of starting. I was watching the opening ceremony for the Winter Olympics:Sochi 2014 and I was very emotional watching this commercial. (Me, emotional? You don’t say!)

Why do we always set our sights on the finish? When the most important moment is the start. The moment we begin to dream, to climb, to conquer, to soar, where we realize the only impossible journey is the one we never begin. Because from great starts, come great things.

This weight loss journey is far from perfect, I’m far from perfect. I’ve made some mistakes, and I’ve lied to myself. Most importantly I learned from my start, and soooo many great things have come from my start. I’m not focusing on the finish because I don’t know what the finish entails just yet. That’s what is so exciting about all of this, I have no idea what the finish looks like. I mean I have no idea what I’m going to look like and that thrills me so much! The changes I already see with my body are INSANE. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve learned that it’s better to not set any expectations so that there is no room for disappointment. You may just surprise yourself with losing 6.2 pounds in one week. 🙂

Not to mention, I’m only human….

I can do it. I can do it. I’ll get through it.

Be YOU. BeYOUtiful.

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”

I’m disgusted with the fact that I have not posted one single thing on here since September 6th but that might be because grad school owned my life and I’m slowly getting it back =) YAY! The semester from HELL is finally over!  I would like to dedicate this post to all of those who get discouraged and think they can’t tackle this whole weight loss thing. Actually, let me rephrase that, this is a lifestyle change.

You have to grasp the mentality that the weight you have acquired was definitely not put on overnight. It may not even be weight, you may just want to work on a fitness goal, you may desire to change some eating habits. Whatever your goal is, I hate to break it to you but it’s not happening OVERNIGHT. That is why I live by the phrase, “Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” Sure, I may not hit that 9:00 mile today but you better believe that I’m going to fight like hell to get there until it happens. Some days suck real bad. Of course, I want to quit. Some days I want to demolish a pack of Oreos . Some days I push myself so hard at the gym that my head feels like it’s going to explode and I want to puke. But somewhere within myself I dig reallllll deep and realize how bad I want this. I define this as being happier and healthier. I know there will come a day when I am 110% thrilled with myself when I look in the mirror. I’m not there yet, but I’m much closer than I was yesterday =)

I get so many messages, comments, etc, on Facebook & Instagram asking me what my secret is. That question actually really pisses me off. So stop asking about “the secret.” I mean feel free to ask me whatever, but no matter what I tell people, I advise them that they have to want it bad enough. It’s also called getting off your ass and actually having a passion for something, a passion to CHANGE. Does that offend you? WELL IT SHOULD. I did not get to where I am today by making excuses for myself and I certainly did not accomplish losing 40 pounds by sitting on my ass. YOU have to start with YOU and realize that YOU are going to experience a different journey than who you happen to be running next to on the treadmill. Most importantly, “No matter how slow you go, you’re lapping everyone on the couch.” Who cares if you don’t run the fastest mile, who cares if you don’t lift the HEAVIEST weight. Add some exercise into your life, eat everything in moderation and it will happen naturally. It actually becomes a habit. I only allow myself to drive to the gym everyday after work. I can NOT drive anywhere else. If you are strict enough in your routine, it becomes a habit. It won’t feel so much like a chore. Surprisingly enough, you actually don’t need an extra- large drink with 1,000,000 calories. A small tastes just the same and if it’s diet, that’s even better! Start out with small changes, you’d be surprised at the BIG IMPACT. Once you realize you are making a positive lifestyle change for yourself, that within itself should make you the most happy!

Holy Instagram!

As of 11:20 pm tonight, I have gained a total of 645 followers on Instagram and 318 likes on the transformation picture below. HOLY COW. I never thought that when I made my Instagram account, it would end up like this! Thanks to the page titled “wesweat” they shared my transformation picture this morning and my page has blown up! So many people were commenting and asking me how I stay motivated/workout routine type questions. People were actually telling me that I MOTIVATED THEM!


I must share a little blurb I wrote on a previous Instagram picture when I was proud about a current run I completed…..”I went from zero to my own hero.” Hearing my fastest paces today meant so much more than a number. This run took me on an emotional journey. I was reminded how I literally came from nothing at a disgusting 214 pounds. I was beyond miserable, had no motivation, and the thought of running any distance made me nauseous. I consumed my feelings with food. Since turning my life around in February, I’ve lost 35 pounds (more to go of course!) I find every fitness endeavor an accomplishment, the ability to completely change to healthier eating habits is a true test of my willpower. I have more energy and a brand new confidence. There are always going to be struggles but as much as you want to quit, never ever give up. Persistence is keyI am definitely not the same person I was 9 months ago but I couldn’t be happier. Thanks to friends, family, and my amazing boyfriend who keep me going when the going gets tough. ❤Now that’s a transformation and something to be proud of if I do say so myself!”

As far as how I stay motivated, I just think about how far I have come on this journey. It’s been SEVEN MONTHS. I have NOT stopped, sure I may have taken a day off here and there from the gym but I never let myself give up. When you believe you have the power to make a change within yourself and you want it that bad you will see results. I definitely did not start my gym routine the way it is now. (I belong to Planet Fitness) Currently I do between 10-15 minutes on the ARC trainer with a resistance of 25 and incline of 15. Then I complete the 30 minute circuit. I have to give credit to my trainer from North Carolina because he helped me perfect my circuit routine. THANKS ELAND =D You have to do what works for you. I can’t tell you what exercise routine you should complete, that’s for you to decide. All I know is the high-intensity of my one minute cardio exercises within the circuit and the weight training is successful.

Now for those of you that asked how I stay motivated, I thought of some things that keep me going….

The simple fact that I never ever want to weigh what I weighed EVER AGAIN. I was so disgusted with myself and how I felt, something had to be done.

When you’re no longer out of breath from walking up the stairs, you’ll want to keep going.

When you can clean out your closet with those clothes that are “too big.”

Fitting into medium shirts and size 14 jeans!

I want to look absolutely bombshell gorgeous in a wedding dress someday. It’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life so why not feel and look your best!?

Basically, I know what I looked like in high school and I know that each workout and healthier decision is making a difference in order to get me where I want to be. You also have to trust the process. The weight did not appear overnight so it’s definitely not going away in a hurry. Just don’t get too focused on the number. Someone today posted on my Instagram that they lost 25 pounds and had about 109 pounds to go. If I focused on a number or how many more pounds I wanted to lose, I would lose my mind. I take it one week at a time. I put in all the effort I can and don’t get obsessive over the scale. Our bodies go through so many changes and you can’t beat yourself up over a bad weigh-in or dwell on mistakes. Just do better next time and own it. What happens, happens and it is what it is, just get back on that grind! I’ve become more proud of how much I’ve accomplished instead of worrying about a future number. Once you are in the correct mental state, you can push yourself to do anything. I mean that in the most positive of ways. There are countless days where I wake up and I’d rather lie in bed for a few hours but then I remind myself how freakin’ good I feel after I just kicked some major ass at the gym. Once you find those accomplishments that make you happy, you can set your mind to anything. “No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch.”

Persistence pays off

I realized I haven’t written in almost TWO MONTHS and I finally found the motivation to do so. I was in a bit of a rut for the past two weeks but I finally snapped out of that! I was beating myself up about debating my meeting this morning and I’m glad I decided to go. I realize that not every week is going to be perfect but I somehow managed to lose!

I have come to the conclusion that people ask me most about what I eat and how I do it. It sounds simple now because I’ve been doing this since February and I attempted this once in college. I will give an example of what I eat within a day and the cardio/weights I do.

Breakfast: Yoplait 100 calorie Greek Yogurt (2 points) or a Jimmy Dean’s Delight Breakfast sandwich. (5 points) (These are a lighter version of their regular breakfast sandwich.)

Snack: Special K Pastry Crisps or fruit

Lunch: Smart One (they vary in calories and points)

Snack: Fiber One Brownie/ Weight Watchers Snack Bar, my favorite are the confetti cake! Either choice is 2 points

During Recess or on the drive home: Special K Protein Bar (6 points)

Dinner: This is the hardest meal for me because it varies every night on choices and what I feel like. My “go to” choices are: Special K Chocolatey Delight Cereal, Pasta (I’ll split my serving in two and have left-overs for another night) or sometimes I’ll stop at Subway by the gym. I also always have Smart Ones on hand.

Snack: Smart Ones Sundae Cups (4 points)

At the gym, I usually do at least 1 hour of cardio. Lately I have done 45 minutes on the arc trainer and then 15 on the elliptical. Today, I did 10 minutes on the arc trainer and then ran 2 miles so that probably did not equal an hour of cardio but I figured the two miles was good enough! Then afterwards, I have a weight circuit that I complete and you’d have to see the machines and the reps in person. For the most part, I do a little bit of each body part. Then I do stretching and abs. I know it’s not super specific but just a snapshot for those inquiring minds : )

I’ve also learned to take it one day at a time. You can’t look at the number you want to lose as a whole, that’s how people get discouraged. Also, if you want your favorite snack, or ice cream, have it. You can have anything you want in moderation. My problem was I’d eat the same band things 3 times a week. If I want sonic, I will get a small size and have it once every few weeks. It’s not going to kill you. As long as they are “mindful” decisions and not “mindless.” Each little bit adds up and as long as you’re making some small change, you’re going to get there. Many people comment that I’m an inspiration, but you are fully capable as well. As soon as you get into that routine, the minute you get off track your body begins to miss it and you just feel “off.” So keep on’ keepin’ on because losing allows you to gain so much more! : ) I’m down 24 since Feb. 6th and I still have a ways to go in this marathon!



I’m really doing this!


TOTAL SINCE FEB. 6th: 14.4 =))))


(Just take a look at what 15 pounds of fat looks like, that was fun!)


It’s so crazy to me to think that the last time I did this in 2011, it took me FOUR MONTHS to lose 13.8 and now I’ve already crushed that in ONE MONTH. Okay, okay, so I’m sure going to the gym for 2 hours everyday might help ; ) I’m just shocked because I took a day off from the gym on Tuesday. I don’t think anyone understands what a mind game I play with myself in wagering whether or not I can take a day off. My drive from school is about 40 minutes and I changed my mind about every 2 minutes. I’m not doing the math, but you know what I mean. I’m really hard on myself as far as skipping the gym and maybe that’s because I know how good it feels afterwards. 

I’ve gotten many compliments this week at school as far as people being able to tell my progress. I can tell from the simple things, such as my clothes are getting baggier and I should really buy a new pair of pants. But in my mind, it’s like “Well, why don’t you wait just a little bit longer so then it will be really worth it.” I think I need to start setting mini-goals. Have you ever set mini-goals for yourself? I mean I guess they’re not “mini” but they will be rewards along the way. After my first weigh-in I bought a new sports bra and exercise pants. It feels good to reward myself with clothes purchases instead of food!

Now I must say last Saturday night I went to Barnes and Noble and did treat myself to some Starbucks (it was an iced coffee and a cookie) but that’s because everyone deserves a cheat/treat here and there. If I cut myself off completely then this is just not going to work. I know that I’m making better choices than I used to. I figure that as much as I do work out, like 2 hours everyday, I pretty much burn it off. Plus, when you have something you haven’t had in a really long time, it tastes so much better and you savor it!

At the meeting this morning, (I went at 7:30 because the 9:30 time is actually getting too late. By the time I go to the meeting, the gym, come home it’s almost 2pm and my entire day is gone! Where as right now it’s only 9:30 and I’m going to go for a run outside soon!) they talked about planning ahead your meals and routines and well I guess that is perfect timing because I will be flying back to Buffalo Thursday night! I already have it in my head that Thursday will have to be my day off from the gym. Friday night I plan on weighing in at my old center with my very first leader. I can also go to Planet Fitness at home because I got the black card. SCORE! It’s super encouraging that all of my “Weight-loss services” are also available in Buffalo. I didn’t realize it when I was signing up for all of these things but I can easily mold my habits I have here into the time when I’m in Buffalo.  : )

I guess I’ve always been hard on myself but it feels so good to finally be in control and changing myself. I set my phone background to this picture because it motivates me to find who I really am regardless of how long it takes. One week at a time I will get there and losing really is winning! I’ve heard so many people say, “Oh, I wish I could do that!” Well, you can. Making those small changes lead to something big. I mean I think about how much I’ve changed my diet and eating better. Not to mention, I RAN THREE MILES THIS WEEK! I’m about to go find a 3 mile route outside with MapMyRun! Leave your comments and inspiration below. They mean so much to me =)



That “spark” fueling my flame.

I know I’ve talked about writing a blog for my weight loss journey and a week later here it is….

Some may be wondering where my jumpstart came from, others may be happy for me no matter what sparked the change. I think it’s important to get a feel for where I’m coming from in my journey before I take you along for the ride.

I don’t remember how many weeks ago this was but I was teaching my second graders about comparative adjectives. More specifically, how to utilize the “er” ending, such as, I’m taller than you. Well when it came to the “est” ending, I explained to students that you use “est” when comparing more than two things. If I was to say, I am the oldest one in the room because there are 20 students. Okay you get it, well one of my lovely (sarcasm?) students decided to compare me to a close teacher friend. This child so politely stated that I was the biggest. Now, I know that I should not let one of my students make me cry but I definitely cried all the way home that day.

I’ve gone through a lot of changes since I started this journey in North Carolina in June. I was dating someone who I thought I loved. Put the relationship on hold to pursue my teaching dream, only to hear him say the day before my interview that “He doesn’t see himself moving down here.” That was clearly super inspirational but I kept keeping on and landed that job. He then decided well we should break up before the first day of school when I clearly needed support the most. Then me being as smart as I am, I thought throwing up in front of my class THREE TIMES was THE best way to start my first day of school.

As I missed home (New York), family, and friends, there were days I didn’t even want to get up in the morning. My class seemed out of control, I was stressed and no matter what I tried, I wanted to throw my hands up and quit. Subconsciously I turned to food. I felt better if I could stop and eat at Sonic after school, grab chinese, get a frappe at McDonald’s before school (made getting out of bed a little bit easier.) I would reward myself in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and watch my favorite TV show. You hear some people “wind-down” after the work day with alcohol. Nope, Ben and Jerry were by my side. Due to my awful eating habits, I had no energy. I would come home and get changed into comfortable clothes, sleep until 8pm. Eat dinner super late. Stay up watching more shows until after midnight. This awful cycle went on from August-Feb. 6th. I was mad at myself for not being able to adjust. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to find comfort in something, something that I could always count on. So, all of these bad habits accumulated to that charming student calling me the biggest.

I can’t solely blame just that student, I’ve struggled with weight before but this time, the change was my choice. I did Weight Watchers from March 2011-July 2011 and I lost 13.4lbs in 4 months. I started this journey Feb. 6th and I’m already down 10.8lbs. That’s only three weeks! I’m so happy I’m ahead of the game this time. I also realized I am supposed to be a role-model to these students and if they see Miss Miller drinking two cans of coke everyday, what does that show them? School life finally seems more calm and I can focus on me.

On February 6th, I decided enough was enough. I joined Planet Fitness and Weight Watchers in the same day. Stepping foot inside that gym was the best thing I could do for myself and then Weight Watchers was just that extra boost. Sure, people ask how I can afford these things but the way I look at it, the amount of money I used to spend on fast food and being miserable all the time, I will definitely pay the extra cost to get myself feeling better.

My life instantly took a 360 degree turn. Okay, Weight Watchers, I know your slogan for this plan is 360, I’m such a genius. Instead of napping for 4 hours everyday after school, I have gone to the gym for almost TWO hours every day. I couldn’t walk up my stairs without feeling out of breath. I can now run two miles at 11:45 pace. Within the first 10 days I lost 6.6lbs. People have babies that are 7 pounds. So yes, I feel as if I lost a baby. I figured I changed my lifestyle so drastically that is probably the biggest loss I will see throughout this whole journey at one time. My students now ask if I need them to fill up my water bottle and they think I go to the school gym for two hours after school, it’s really cute. Instead of Sonic garbage and McDonald’s cups rolling around in my car I have empty water bottles rolling around and Fiber One wrappers tangled in my headphones. I now walk around Walmart calculating Points Plus values on EVERYTHING. Hey, if teaching doesn’t work out, I might just do that for a living. Coming up on March 6th, it will be one month with no soda and no fast food! It’s amazing how different you feel with a little exercise and better eating habits. I don’t have a specific goal in mind yet but I do know when I started college I was probably 135 pounds.

I guess this is the part when I say how proud I am of myself, does that make any sense? Well, I truly am. School seems to be under control and I’m finally adjusting. I’ve swallowed my pride and realized I needed to make some changes in order to feel myself again. I find myself becoming more confident and I can’t wait to see what the future holds! It’s amazing what losing 10.8 pounds can make you feel like, it only motivates me to see what maybe 20 will do, then my little steps will lead to something big : ) Dream big and don’t lose sight of who you truly are. I thank everyone for their support thus far and any words of encouragement are certainly appreciated!

These photos are from August 2008:


This is now:


I’m making steady improvements though:Image


Thanks for reading : ) Leave any and all inspirational comments below!