Failure is fuel.

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

I’ve been meaning to write this blog for awhile now…..for the past few weeks months, I know that I’ve gained at the scale. BAD. There is no denying that so….. I’ve been contemplating going back to Weight Watchers. I have become increasingly uncomfortable with the way that I look and feel. I constantly compare to what I looked like last summer and how CLOSE I was to my goal last July/August. Also, timehop is a b.i.t.c.h. Therefore, last Friday, May 29th 2015 I have re-committed to Weight Watchers for the sole purpose that it works. YAY! It was a super vulnerable feeling walking through those doors again but I knew it had to be done. I felt my absolute BEST last summer at 157lbs and the fact that I let the pounds pile back on is so so upsetting. I know I should have never quit in October in the first place. It just kills me that I spent from February 2013-October 2014 losing all this weight, driving to the gym, putting in the work, running all the miles, doing all the grocery shopping, just to basically end up right where I started. Those thoughts alone bring me to tears. You can add up all the time and money that was spent on the first journey but that WILL NOT push you forward. I’m making a promise to myself that I can’t obsess about the past, the only direction is forward. I have to let the past go and realize that this journey is a new beginning and I have to remember that I’ve done this before and I’m worth it to myself to get healthy again. My favorite part about the quote above, “the time will pass anyway” is something I have to hold onto because just as the time will pass anyway, I can’t rewind or erase the mistakes. It happened and I have to use this failure as fuel to push forward and the simple fact that I know where I was and where I can be is motivation enough. (See happy July 2014 photo below)

Transformation December 2014This quote reminds me to just get back up!

never quit quote

In addition, if there is anything I have learned on this journey is that you have to do what works for you and only do it for YOU. Do it because you want to crush your goals. Do it so that you can walk into your favorite store and try on that awesome outfit without hesitation. Do it because you deserve to walk around with the highest level of confidence and you deserve to feel the most comfortable in your own skin. People may suggest other weight loss products and programs BUT you know you best. I know that I can’t simply eat clean and workout..maybe you can but I KNOW that I need to track my points and exercise. I also need that accountability to someone at the scale every single week. That’s the only way IT WORKS for ME. This does not make any program better than another though. In this life we get to choose what works for us and if you’re killin’ it with a different program but still working towards the best version of you and you’re happy doing it..then GO YOU! We’re all in this together and nobody should knock someone else’s journey to becoming healthier simply because it’s not their program of choice. DO YOU ALWAYS.

Recently, someone shared with me that it’s hard to get back on track and tracking their points is hard. That statement really made me think that yes, nobody wakes up and says, “YES I LOVE TO TRACK, TRACKING IS MY FAVORITE” nobody wants to count calories or track their food in any app and if you genuinely do…then I need to meet you and get your autograph. It would be GREAT if we could all eat what we wanted without keeping track or putting in the work during workouts. However, personally, I feel that being overweight is harder. Walking around feeling uncomfortable and not fitting into the clothes I wore last summer is harder. Running at a slower pace than last summer is harder. Taking 17 minutes longer on this year’s half-marathon is harder. Not being able to sit down without feeling my fat rolls rolling on top of each other is harder. Not being a size 10 is harder. (Yes, I went there) It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting to not be 110% happy with you. Tracking IS hard, there is no minimizing the time and energy that must go into preparing food and workouts BUT gaining 35 pounds in 8 months is harder for me. (Ouch. Makes me sick.) Choose your hard. That is all.

But I would rather end on a positive note SO here is a wonderful transformation photo of me at 214 pounds to running my FOURTH half-marathon and Sunday’s meal prep. YAY. Smiles all around for moving forward. Can’t wait to see my Sunday warriors this week! Keep on keepin’ on fitfam! 🙂

4th half transformationmeal prep

Be YOU. BeYOUtiful.

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”

I’m disgusted with the fact that I have not posted one single thing on here since September 6th but that might be because grad school owned my life and I’m slowly getting it back =) YAY! The semester from HELL is finally over!  I would like to dedicate this post to all of those who get discouraged and think they can’t tackle this whole weight loss thing. Actually, let me rephrase that, this is a lifestyle change.

You have to grasp the mentality that the weight you have acquired was definitely not put on overnight. It may not even be weight, you may just want to work on a fitness goal, you may desire to change some eating habits. Whatever your goal is, I hate to break it to you but it’s not happening OVERNIGHT. That is why I live by the phrase, “Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” Sure, I may not hit that 9:00 mile today but you better believe that I’m going to fight like hell to get there until it happens. Some days suck real bad. Of course, I want to quit. Some days I want to demolish a pack of Oreos . Some days I push myself so hard at the gym that my head feels like it’s going to explode and I want to puke. But somewhere within myself I dig reallllll deep and realize how bad I want this. I define this as being happier and healthier. I know there will come a day when I am 110% thrilled with myself when I look in the mirror. I’m not there yet, but I’m much closer than I was yesterday =)

I get so many messages, comments, etc, on Facebook & Instagram asking me what my secret is. That question actually really pisses me off. So stop asking about “the secret.” I mean feel free to ask me whatever, but no matter what I tell people, I advise them that they have to want it bad enough. It’s also called getting off your ass and actually having a passion for something, a passion to CHANGE. Does that offend you? WELL IT SHOULD. I did not get to where I am today by making excuses for myself and I certainly did not accomplish losing 40 pounds by sitting on my ass. YOU have to start with YOU and realize that YOU are going to experience a different journey than who you happen to be running next to on the treadmill. Most importantly, “No matter how slow you go, you’re lapping everyone on the couch.” Who cares if you don’t run the fastest mile, who cares if you don’t lift the HEAVIEST weight. Add some exercise into your life, eat everything in moderation and it will happen naturally. It actually becomes a habit. I only allow myself to drive to the gym everyday after work. I can NOT drive anywhere else. If you are strict enough in your routine, it becomes a habit. It won’t feel so much like a chore. Surprisingly enough, you actually don’t need an extra- large drink with 1,000,000 calories. A small tastes just the same and if it’s diet, that’s even better! Start out with small changes, you’d be surprised at the BIG IMPACT. Once you realize you are making a positive lifestyle change for yourself, that within itself should make you the most happy!