Journey to the Sunshine State

Well hello beautiful people! I can’t believe it has been over a year since my last blog. That’s unreal to me. So much has changed since then but I’m not recapping over a year in this blog right now so let’s just fast forward real quick to the here & now ūüôā

If you did not know, I left Buffalo, NY on July 11th to start my trek to Fort Myers, FL where I will be teaching second grade. Gosh typing out makes it sound so easy BAHAHA. I know, I know, I did this TWO years ago when I went to Charlotte and that didn’t necessarily pan out but we can’t focus on the past or taint this experience because of that. #mindset.

Okay so the journey here let’s discuss. I took the seats out of my car and only took the essentials. AND YES I SOLD MY BED ON MONDAY AND I MOVED WEDNESDAY #bossstatus

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If you need someone to pack up your house in 3 days and fit it in a PT Cruiser, I am your girl! That was one of the most stressful things I did and I lost a lot of sleep those 3 days because I am a procrastinator but damn I purged a bunch of shit and only brought the essentials which felt GREAT! ūüôā

SO first stop was Carlisle, PA for a car show that my dad and sister go to every year (Wed-Sat) and last time I attended was when I went to Charlotte in 2016 but went for a few years as a kid too. My dad had his 1969 Road Runner in the survivor tent and this year he trailed his car with his new 2018 RAM truck and I was so happy for him! Normally he drives his 91 Ram Charger and the trailer is not a fan of that. He kept saying how he could have kept driving to FL it was so easy, LOL!

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The morning we left my sister texted me something along the lines of, “Hey let’s get tats in PA” and I legit texted her back, “ARE YA NUTS” well needless to say we spent that 5 hour drive creating our matching tat and well here ya go ūüôā I could write an entire blog about how we came up with this so stay tuned! Hers says, “I’ll keep you wild” and mine says, “I’ll keep you safe” and well that’s self-explanatory as I am the more reserved, conservative one and my sister is well…the wild child ūüėČ

Tats

I left PA Saturday morning at 8AM and headed to visit my good friend Taffy in Charlotte, NC! When I left for Charlotte in 2016 my dad cried and it literally broke me so I told both my dad and sister, NO CRYING. Here is our way too early selfie, LOL!

Leaving PA

The drive to Charlotte said 7 hours and 20 minutes and I knew I would be fine because I did just do this TWO years ago. Ironically I stopped at the same Dunkin’ Donuts in Maryland from exactly TWO years ago. I drove from PA-MD-VA-WV and I made it to Taffy’s outside of Charlotte about 5:15PM.

Our entire trip may have revolved around food but I ain’t even mad about it ūüôā She makes me laugh until I cry and I am so blessed to even have met her! Our last night was my favorite as we went to Pinky’s (which has been on Diner’s, Drive Ins and Dives) and then blasted Barenaked Ladies, “The Old Apartment” as we went to see my old apartment LOL along with the most epic car snap karaoke on the drive home. Thanks so much for the hospitality Taffy, LOVE YOU ‚̧

Taffy and I

I left Charlotte 7AM on Monday to start my 10 1/2 hour trek to THE SUNSHINE STATE. Shoutout to Taffy for documenting my drive off. If I’m being honest, this is when I was the most nervous because well I was prepared for the Charlotte Drive but had no idea what to expect on my drive to Florida and I just have one thing to say: IT WAS LONGAF. I am so so glad I left at 7AM because I did not pull up to my new place until almost 8:45PM.

Leaving NC

I think I stopped for gas 3 or 4 times? It is all a blur right now BAHAHA. All that matters is that I made it here. AM I RIGHT? Well, if you do not know, I found this couple on craigslist that I am living with, I’m just renting a room from them and I skyped like over an hour with them initially on June 15th. They told me they had 1 dog and 2 cats. I got here and there is 1 dog and FOUR cats. Legit the night I got here they were all in my room and I took this video panning the bedroom and I legit felt like the crazy cat lady. I cried a lot that night. The first night is always the hardest. Trust me, you know I love cats but FOUR plus a dog, I am just so so overwhelmed! Peep them all over my bag the first night. All I did the first night was bring in my bedding and shower.

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If you have not seen my snaps or Insta story documenting my journey here so far basically they are slobs. When I talked with them via Skype I do remember her saying that he hurt his back. I got here and it’s the same story. He does not work and is the most lazy human being I have ever met. I swear he is a drug dealer or something. It is not adding up.

This place is a legit mess and my motto is “I’m doing what I can with what I have.” I realize that everyone has different standards for cleanliness but when someone gives you $250 for a security deposit and then $500 to rent the room for the month–Why in the actual heck did I find a candy wrapper, a pen, a hair tie, cat poop behind my bed? I also went out and bought a hand vacuum little dust buster thing because the amount of just dust and cat food along the molding of my bedroom is UNREAL. I do have my own bathroom but this is another level of filth. Do you know what living in filth does to one’s mentality? AGH it is fucking me up HARDCORE fam.¬†My bedding makes happy though and I went and bought these scent cones that I had at home which is the same scent as my fabric spray. You know the stuff that makes you feel at home? Yea, trying to fill myself with those things ‚̧

FL Bed

Now that it is Thursday and I went on the cleaning rampage on Tuesday, I am feeling a little bit better. I try and get out for a good chunk of the day. My first full day here I went to explore the Six Mile Cypress Slough Preserve and tried running a little over a mile on the boardwalk but later found out you’re not supposed to run on it. WOOPS. Going to try and explore more parks and get more runs in over the next few days here. I went back to Weight Watchers this morning and feel really good about that and tracking today.

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I did finally empty out my car as well and I have been getting familiar with the area. Exploring has allowed me to figure out where I would like to live and I have looked at 6-7 places the past two days. I am living in Lehigh Acres right now which is about 20-25 outside of Fort Myers so if I go and do anything in civilization, I make sure I do what I need to do before heading home. Gosh that makes me sound crazy but I’m used to like my 7 minute work and gym radius back home. I know I will feel better when I move closer to the things that I like to do.

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The end of the blog brings me to MINDSET and how much I have evolved since the last time I did this in Charlotte. I shared a little about this on my Insta live earlier today but when I moved to Charlotte and shit went down I was crying like everyday. I am happy to report that I did not cry yesterday or today and I am super proud of that. IT IS NOT EASY TO MOVE TO A NEW PLACE FAM. Yes I have done it before but Florida is FAR. Like over 1,100 miles FAR. Anywayssss today this leasing consultant asked me if I had any friends or family here and I was like well I have one friend from social media but we have not met yet HAHA.

I just keep telling myself that this beginning stage is the legit hardest and if I can make it through the hardest part: not having many friends, not loving where I live, not having a paycheck, etc. THE REST WILL BE CAKE. Because what I do have right now is all of you on social media. I have the ability to go OUT and make new friends. I have a roof over my head, a shower, food, a car, etc. Once you add up all that you DO have. It’s not that bad.

BUTTTT I can NOT wait to look back on this moment in a few months and laugh and be like, “hey, remember when you lived at Dr. Dolittle’s?” And then I can just laugh until I cry about what a joke this situation is at the moment. I realize that this is just a blimp in time and I just need to make it through ONE day at a time and then once all the days add up I will look back and be like WHOA you made it through THAT. I am just filling my time and days with doing things that make me happy. Trying to establish some what of a routine and making it similar to what I would do at home. First step was getting back to Weight Watchers this morning. Next step is getting back into an exercise routine. So now that it is almost 1AM, I want to get up and go run at this Lakes Park tomorrow and then find me an acai bowl. (I already have it all mapped out) Maybe look at more apartments? Apply to the one I want? I may or may not have already put myself up on Bumble and I may or may not have a pizza and bowling date tomorrow night ūüėČ ARE WE SURPRISED? MAKIN ALL DA DAMN MOVES FAM ‚̧ Until next time! If you read this far…#bless!
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Know your worth.

It sounds SO cliche. 

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But this quote is so so true! ‚̧

I guess it just took me getting UNINVITED to a wedding to realize I was handing out more discounts than I realized.

How does one get uninvited to a wedding one might ask?

Well a BOY asks you to a wedding then said boy SNAPCHATS YOU that you are UNINVITED. No, doesn’t pick up the phone or call or ask to meet you in person.

He decides to take a “friend” who was really “important” to the bride but some how was never invited in the first place. Sounds like a super “important” friend to me. I know how weddings work. People don’t just forget to invite someone so so important. SMH. If the bride wanted her there, she would have been there.

When he invited me in the first place he was super kind in stating that he had a hotel room but promised me no funny business and he would sleep on the floor.

So now I’m supposed to be okay with you sharing a room with this “friend?” I THINK NOT.

We discussed this and his response was, “I didn’t say I was sharing a room with her.” BUT at the same time my response was, “You didn’t say that you weren’t ya know?”

I jokingly said that he owed me for this. I had to return my dress. Got my nails done for the occasion. PICKED SUPER BORING FRENCH MANICURE NAILS BY THE WAY Etc. I truly think any gentleman would have said, “Hey Chelsea, I know this is super unfortunate but this friend really wants to be there and I feel bad–let me make it up to you, let me take you to dinner or we will plan another date day.”

NOPE. NOTHING. All I got was an “Lol. Ok.” *INSERT EYE ROLL*

Not to mention he told me that I could hate him and never talk to him again because of this. (Way to take the easy way out) Well I gladly accepted that invite, NO PROBLEM.

We texted a little bit after because I wanted honesty. This girl just like didn’t come out of the wood work. After that he stated that he felt he wasn’t the prince charming I was looking for. TOTAL COP OUT AGAIN.

Like if you don’t want to pursue each other anymore JUST SAY THAT.

I’m not looking for prince charming. I just want honesty. THE END.

Enough of that–MOVING FORWARD–LESSON TIME

I NEEDED to get uninvited to this wedding.

Call me crazy but it was a HUGE wake up call. A wake up call I never knew I needed.

This BOY and I have been talking for MONTHS. I really liked him which is the unfortunate part. (Looking back, not sure why I wasted so much time) Cause ya know it would have been easier if I was apathetic and just didn’t care or have feelings. SIGH. He said he wanted to take things slow…well this was like slower than a sloth in peanut butter, slow.

SNORE. SNOOZE. BOY BYE.

Anyways. This entire situation made me realize I desire more.

I deserve more. I don’t say that from entitlement. I say that from the fact that I know I have something special to offer.

I was accepting the BARE minimum.

I am worth more than being dumped from a wedding invite via snapchat.

I am worth more than hanging out every three weeks. 

I am worth more than the 1AM snapchats asking if he can come over.

I am worth going out on real dates.

I am worth adventures.

I am worth more than the bullshit excuse of working the next morning and missing a concert we both wanted to go to. Are you a grandpa? It’s one day. Get a coffee. Chug a Redbull and come home and take a nap. I JUST CAN’T.

I had a bit of a sob fest the night that I was uninvited. I also drank a bit too much last night. I was feeling real sorry for myself.

But I kind of had an epiphany this morning that I NEED to be clear on what I WANT and that starts with remembering my WORTH.

I set intentions for my health and fitness goals, half-marathon training, business goals, etc–so why should what I look for in a potential partner be any different?

I know that I will find someone who wants to take adventures.

Someone who doesn’t make excuses.

Someone who says YES life is too short let’s live it up!

Someone who wants to take me out instead of the 1am snapchat booty call. (I did call him out on that which is why he stated that even though he got a hotel room there would be no funny business.)

I am most certainly worth someone’s EFFORT and TIME more than once every three weeks.

But I was kind of in a fog and lost the belief in myself for a little bit. But if I don’t believe in me–who the HECK else is going to believe in me?

So I’m putting my foot down.

I shut the door on some other bullshit too last night. Can’t go into those details but it feels good to stand up for yourself and your happiness.

Never ever settle. Know your worth loves ‚̧

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What the scale WON’T tell you but my smile will

Yesterday, I finally returned¬†to my favorite Sunday Warrior’s Weight Watchers meeting for the first time since my FIRST half-marathon and my SECOND half-marathon with a trip to Disney in between. SHOCKING. I thought to myself, “I’ve been so determined, what the hell happened!?” Well I realized that life happens and that it’s okay. The scale slips away from everyone but most importantly what I’ve learned from this whole process is that you have to OWN whatever happens¬†and most importantly, keep kicking ass and taking names!¬†I will say with confidence that I am actually HAPPY I gained 1.6 pounds. Yes, call me crazy but I was expecting at least a 6 pound gain from Disney¬†(that damn Mickey ice cream!) and losing track over the past few weeks. Regardless, it’s definitely a weight off of my shoulders (I’m so punny)¬†since¬†I anticipated the absolute worst but was pleasantly surprised. I tend to do this a lot, as you will realize later…..

Enough about a number though. Really, what is ONE number (okay, more like¬†three numbers strung together sometimes 4 because you can weigh like 135.2) going to tell you? Yesterday my leader (whom I adore and is super inspirational and motivational and just ALL OF THE GOOD FEELS) said something that really stuck, “Do not let 10 seconds on the scale determine your week.” This statement really got me thinking that everyone in that room is so much more than a number and we should not let the scale dictate or measure our happiness. You’re really going to let ONE number tell you that you ran 66 miles this month?! YOU BETTER NOT. I believe that anyone who is on a weightloss journey should not let one measly¬†number define them. I mean for goodness sakes if I let a number control and define me, I’d have quit the first time I gained. Not to mention, I’ve run TWO HALF-MARATHONS since the last time I sat with my Sunday Warriors. The scale won’t tell ANYONE that.

The scale won’t tell you how my body was yelling at me during Saturday’s half because it was 88 degrees outside and I was so dehydrated. (Never doing that again!) I don’t think you understand unless you have actually ran in a 5k or half marathon or marathon that your brain starts to think some pretty crazy stuff.¬†I wanted people sitting outside their houses to just turn their hoses on and cool everyone off. I envisioned the children standing on the road running inside and getting me a damn freezie pop. That’s when you know you’ve lost it, like when this one woman handing out water told me she could see the finish line at the 11 mile mark and I thought to myself, “NO YOU CAN’T. DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO ME.” In all reality I know she was trying to be encouraging but don’t tell me you can actually SEE the finish when it’s INSIDE the stadium and TWO miles away. I’m dying here, THANKS. After I saw someone on the side of the road with an ambulance I thought to myself, “Chelsea it’s hot, you need to slow down, who cares what your time is you are just aiming to finish standing up at this point.” So that was my mentality for the rest of the race. I figured my time was going to be a lot slower compare to my first race due to the hills and heat. So here I go with the whole anticipating the worst thing…..I mean not that I’m obsessing over numbers or anything but¬†my first half marathon was on May 25th which I ran in 2:31:11 and Saturday’s 50 yard finish was 2:28:52. The¬†scale won’t tell me that I actually beat my time! ¬†The scale won’t measure the happiness that I felt when I found out that I beat this time earlier today. The scale also won’t tell you about the real smile in this transformation picture but I will.

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That smile comes from over a year of hard work, persistence, determination, dedication and defeat. I feel it’s important to discuss the defeat I have experienced as¬†this journey is far from perfect. That smile also comes from the fact that in February 2013 I could barely run 13:20/mile and just last week in¬†Delaware Park I ran one mile in 8:40. TONIGHT I RAN ONE MILE IN 8:35!!! That smile comes from an endless list of accomplishing¬†things that I never thought were possible. That smile comes from the fact that I was once wearing size 18 pants and now I fit into a size 8. That smile comes from the fact that I no longer wear XXL shirts. That smile comes from the fact that I can be comfortable in shorts and a tank top. That smile comes from the fact that even when your body wants to quit, when every muscle is aching, your head is pounding, sweat is in your eyes, you want to faint, puke and collapse all at once, YOU DO NOT GIVE IN. That smile tells you that others will¬†support and encourage you but at the end of the day this is your OWN journey and you have to rely on yourself and do what makes you happy and successful. I find myself thinking about another quote from¬†Silver Linings Playbook….

The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed. I can’t begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what? Sunday’s my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.

I can totally relate to this quote. I used to run everyday in high school. I had a specific 4 mile loop around the village of OP. Throughout the years I lost sight of that but now running is my favorite again. Sure, a lot of stuff happens in between but you must remain grounded. You must have a constant. I’ve learned through experience that there are going to be setbacks along the way, the scale may lean one way, you didn’t run your best race, you experience a heartbreak, or you’re stressing out about school/work. Whatever the situation is, at the end of the day, if you want it bad enough, you will do what it takes to figure it out. You have to push all the bull**** aside and remember what you truly want. Nobody is going to go out there and get it for you and sometimes you need to be selfish in what you are after. Finally, the scale will not tell you that I am a fighter or that I refuse to give up on myself, only my smile can do that. Do not let the scale run your life. YOU run your life. Thanks for listening! Stay tuned for more =)

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P.S. I got some new kicks tonight and I’m even MORE pumped about running. I’m not sure where Brooks have been my entire life but I’m glad I found them =)

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