Know your worth.

It sounds SO cliche. 

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But this quote is so so true! ❤

I guess it just took me getting UNINVITED to a wedding to realize I was handing out more discounts than I realized.

How does one get uninvited to a wedding one might ask?

Well a BOY asks you to a wedding then said boy SNAPCHATS YOU that you are UNINVITED. No, doesn’t pick up the phone or call or ask to meet you in person.

He decides to take a “friend” who was really “important” to the bride but some how was never invited in the first place. Sounds like a super “important” friend to me. I know how weddings work. People don’t just forget to invite someone so so important. SMH. If the bride wanted her there, she would have been there.

When he invited me in the first place he was super kind in stating that he had a hotel room but promised me no funny business and he would sleep on the floor.

So now I’m supposed to be okay with you sharing a room with this “friend?” I THINK NOT.

We discussed this and his response was, “I didn’t say I was sharing a room with her.” BUT at the same time my response was, “You didn’t say that you weren’t ya know?”

I jokingly said that he owed me for this. I had to return my dress. Got my nails done for the occasion. PICKED SUPER BORING FRENCH MANICURE NAILS BY THE WAY Etc. I truly think any gentleman would have said, “Hey Chelsea, I know this is super unfortunate but this friend really wants to be there and I feel bad–let me make it up to you, let me take you to dinner or we will plan another date day.”

NOPE. NOTHING. All I got was an “Lol. Ok.” *INSERT EYE ROLL*

Not to mention he told me that I could hate him and never talk to him again because of this. (Way to take the easy way out) Well I gladly accepted that invite, NO PROBLEM.

We texted a little bit after because I wanted honesty. This girl just like didn’t come out of the wood work. After that he stated that he felt he wasn’t the prince charming I was looking for. TOTAL COP OUT AGAIN.

Like if you don’t want to pursue each other anymore JUST SAY THAT.

I’m not looking for prince charming. I just want honesty. THE END.

Enough of that–MOVING FORWARD–LESSON TIME

I NEEDED to get uninvited to this wedding.

Call me crazy but it was a HUGE wake up call. A wake up call I never knew I needed.

This BOY and I have been talking for MONTHS. I really liked him which is the unfortunate part. (Looking back, not sure why I wasted so much time) Cause ya know it would have been easier if I was apathetic and just didn’t care or have feelings. SIGH. He said he wanted to take things slow…well this was like slower than a sloth in peanut butter, slow.

SNORE. SNOOZE. BOY BYE.

Anyways. This entire situation made me realize I desire more.

I deserve more. I don’t say that from entitlement. I say that from the fact that I know I have something special to offer.

I was accepting the BARE minimum.

I am worth more than being dumped from a wedding invite via snapchat.

I am worth more than hanging out every three weeks. 

I am worth more than the 1AM snapchats asking if he can come over.

I am worth going out on real dates.

I am worth adventures.

I am worth more than the bullshit excuse of working the next morning and missing a concert we both wanted to go to. Are you a grandpa? It’s one day. Get a coffee. Chug a Redbull and come home and take a nap. I JUST CAN’T.

I had a bit of a sob fest the night that I was uninvited. I also drank a bit too much last night. I was feeling real sorry for myself.

But I kind of had an epiphany this morning that I NEED to be clear on what I WANT and that starts with remembering my WORTH.

I set intentions for my health and fitness goals, half-marathon training, business goals, etc–so why should what I look for in a potential partner be any different?

I know that I will find someone who wants to take adventures.

Someone who doesn’t make excuses.

Someone who says YES life is too short let’s live it up!

Someone who wants to take me out instead of the 1am snapchat booty call. (I did call him out on that which is why he stated that even though he got a hotel room there would be no funny business.)

I am most certainly worth someone’s EFFORT and TIME more than once every three weeks.

But I was kind of in a fog and lost the belief in myself for a little bit. But if I don’t believe in me–who the HECK else is going to believe in me?

So I’m putting my foot down.

I shut the door on some other bullshit too last night. Can’t go into those details but it feels good to stand up for yourself and your happiness.

Never ever settle. Know your worth loves ❤

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The Calculator

 

Something I’ve always struggled with is letting the negative and nasty comments of others define how I feel about myself. (SO GUILTY!) How many of us have done that though? Raise your hand! Don’t leave me alone in this, raise them up!

Most recently, I shared very publicly on social media a message from  someone on a dating website–my response is in blue 🙂 12232905_10156298385140297_6781713292635362687_o (1)

In the past, I would have cried all day long. All weekend long. I wouldn’t have even answered. I would have hid in the shell of my body and let him walk all over me. But now I am above that. Now I have control. Now I am strong enough to have a say. Some may argue that I shouldn’t have even responded. I disagree. Being silent would have let him win and I’ve worked way too damn hard to let that happen. He totally deserved that!

I can also remember when a Canisius employee asked me when I was due during my junior year of college–actually if I was having twins. Not to mention the comment my second-grader made that started this lifestyle change for me. (That had a positive outcome) All of those comments have an impact. They sting. Salt in the wound. BUT–

The instances and comments don’t even matter to me anymore it’s all in the learning how to react to them that does. I found this quote recently

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I want it tattooed on my forehead actually. No for real. Just stop. Pause. Think about it. “If you want to IMPROVE your self-worth stop giving other people the calculator.” HOW GENIUS IS THAT? It went off in my brain like a light-bulb, a spark, a firework, whatever, something explosive! Universes colliding! It’s so so true!

WHY IN THE WORLD was I going to let someone else’s comment about my appearance define me?!

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Thinking about it now, I ask myself, “What do they know?” “They don’t even know me.They have no idea what I’ve been through.” So why why why give that person the time of day let alone allow that person to impact your value. (See amazing quote above) Seriously though, the people that say these mean things to us like, “Oh, do you need that second cookie?” “You look heavy to me.” GREAT. Is it your body? NO. You have ZERO say. There is clearly something wrong with YOU. Something YOU are struggling with and you don’t need to dump that issue into my lap. Thanks.

But for real. The idea for this blog also stemmed from a podcast from Chalene Johnson that was titled, “Never Call a Kid Fat.” It’s really good so I had to post it here! Go listen or read the transcript! —Never Call A Kid Fat

Basically, what I took from that podcast is that WE ARE THE ROLE MODELS. Children or not–we must DO BETTER. Once a comment is made to a child about their body image it stays with them FOR LIFE. They bury it deep inside of themselves, letting it eat away at their soul. Hello, someone made a comment to me when I was younger. IT HAPPENS.

At the same time, we also need to treat ourselves better. We need to know our own worth and realize that we are beautiful and capable of GREAT things! Know who you are, stand your ground and don’t let anyone dull your sparkle. That’s my new motto! 🙂 I am planning to create a Facebook page around this idea of positive self-talk, body image and embracing ourselves for who we are. It’s going to be epic and I can’t wait for you to join in the movement! ❤ Dream Big. Get Fit. Love you all!

I am awesome